Are you a quitter?

Let me ask you, are you afraid of starting up new projects? Is it because you know that you probably won’t continue with it for long, but just get tired and probably quit long before you get the results you were going for?

I was the same! But that was before I met my personal coach and we talked about this issue with me. I told her that so often I’m full of new ideas, but more often now, I felt scared of starting up new projects or businesses, because I had learned about my self that I’m not patient enough and a quitter!

So we talked about this for a while and I told her about my bankruptcy from my previous business, that cost me all my savings to get out of. Of course, that hit me hard on my self-confident, but after spending some time at home, licking my wounds, the new startup ideas stated to appear again.

I educated my self as a digital marketer because I had this dream of being able to work from home (or where ever I want to) and not have to show up on an office every day. I prefer to work on my own schedule and to do all the decisions about my job, my self. (If you want to know how I did it, check out this link). I got certified and started to have some nice income from this, but still, I wasn’t crushing it!?

I was holding back..

It seems like I was holding back to save my self from failure again. For example, I have always dreamt of writing a book and I also used to say that out loud to my closest friends and family. Now I had this wonderful idea of what the book will be about, and I even sat down and made a map over the chapters. I knew this book would possibly help a lot of people struggling with stressful lives, but I was not able to sit down and write my first sentences.

Ahhh. I got so angry at my self…why was I stuck?!

So, my coach leads me to a different angle of this problem. She said that this is because you have created some negative self-believes about your self. You told me that you don’t have any patience and that you quit all your projects half done, right? 
Let’s talk about what you really are!

So she asked me a lot of brilliant questions (that is what a skilled coach do) and I tried to be as honest I could. Then she summarised what I had told her and she came up with this list:

  1. I work fast! I mean it, I work really, really fast!
  2. When I write I have flow! Words seem to come naturally to me.
  3. When I start up a new project, I have such a focus!
  4. I did show patience many times, for example when I educated my self as a digital marketer and several advanced certifications. I had also continued building my online business, step by step for almost 10 month (when we had this conversation).
  5. I most of the time, end’s up as an expert on my work area.

The solution for me was to change my focus, from being a quitter to someone that works fast, are focused on my job until I’m becoming an expert, and also has proven to be able to continue and build something solid, step by step.

It was time for me to change my self-believes!

So, to be able to write my book, I was assigned to:

  1. Be present, what can I do, here and now!
  2. Small steps forward, don’t look at the end result!

And then….I needed to promise her to write my first chapter until next session….and I did!

My book is not finished yet, but I work on my self and take small steps. Every week I write a new chapter and I have no idea when I’m done. But I don’t care, I feel pure joy every time I have accomplished a new chapter of my book.

I hope you can use this story and technique to change your negative self-believes that holds you back. I would be so glad if you commented on this article and told me what you are struggling with at this moment.

/Erika Lindstrom

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4 thoughts on “Are you a quitter?”

    1. Hej Lena, eller hur! Jag skrev direkt från mina egna erfarenheter. Tänkte att det skulle vara kul att få en inblick vad en personlig coach kan göra för skillnad. Är det en duktig coach har de en enastående förmåga att hitta smarta vägar ur alla svårigheter. Egentligen handlar ju allt om att se saken från ett annat håll. Kul att du är här Lena och tack för din kommentar.

      mvh Erika

    1. TACK! Vad glad jag blir! Det är så otroligt lätt att bygga upp egna föreställningar om hur man själv är och sätta gränser för vad man klarar och inte klarar. Oftast bygger de på rädslor. Bara för att man “misslyckats” (läs: skapat sig erfarenheter) i något förr, betyder det inte att samma sak kommer att hända igen. Tänk om ett litet barn skulle tänka så när det ska lära sig att gå! Föreställ dig att det lilla barnet aldrig mer skulle våga kliva upp igen bara för att det ramlade första gången. Tur att våra barn är så mycket smartare än vi!

      Önskar dig en fantastisk dag och tänk på att jag finns för dig om du behöver hjälp på din resa eller har frågor.

      Mvh Erika

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